A recent article from news.com.au has pointed out how much safer Australians are at the local strip club, compared to the church, what is fails to point out is much of the story behind how these figures were calculated and what if any implications the figures have.

The first major issue in the article (aside from the lack of attribution to the data besides the vague “latest data”) is the liberal use of the word “in”:

‘…in the state’s “places of worship” in 2008.’
‘…just as likely to be assaulted or robbed in the sanctity of a church…’
‘using marijuana in places of worship’.

Without the knowing the exact publication to verify the methodology, we will examine the latest publication on crime from the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, “The nature of assaults recorded on licensed premises”. This report discusses crimes in or around licensed venues, and breaks data down by the crimes location relative to a licensed venue – weather it was indoors or outdoors on premises, the footpath outside or near or not near to the premises.

“Could you be mugged in the confessional? The answer may surprise you”

If we assume that the Bureau uses similar methodologies in the unreferenced report, we can also assume that crimes ‘in’ churches may refer to crimes merely near or on the grounds of churches as well as inside. Once this emotive language is neutralised (“Could you be mugged in the confessional? The answer may surprise you”) the rest of this article begins to slowly fall apart.

The next big error is the comparison:

A breakdown of the figures showed that 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises.

Yes, there were more assaults at places of worship compared to adult premises, however it says nothing of the populations these are drawn from. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics about 53% of NSW Citizens recorded a religion in the most popular choices and has a population of about 6.5 Million people. If we assume a modest 25% of religious people regularly goes to church that gives about 750,000 who regularly attend church, meaning a little over 1 in 10,000 people were assaulted in or around church.

Comparing this with males only, to get a similar population of strip club attendees requires about 23% of males to attend strip clubs with the frequency they attend church to make the comparison made in the article valid.

Before people point out the two issues with my own analysis, yes I am aware females also frequent strip clubs or other adult venues list in the article, but for the purposes of rough estimation we are leaving them out. The other issue is my own numbers assume only religious people attend church, which will be dealt with shortly.

So aside from the fact that 23% of males wouldn’t attend adult venues as often to make the comparison valid, there are still other concerns. Now, lets start looking at why the crimes are being committed. It is not hard to assume that the majority of crimes at adult venues would be influenced by alcohol and drugs or organised crime associated with these venues. furthermore, the bouncer on the door of the strip club may steady peoples emotions a little better than the priest, although neither have quite the ability to keep people in check than the man (or woman) upstairs.

But to look at church as an area of crime is a harder matter, why would someone commit a crime there? Well, ask any teenager and they will have at least had a passing though at drinking or having sex in the most unusual places – churches, graveyards, school grounds, etc… – just to get at the man.

So rather than the father toking up behind that curtain while taking confession, its most likely someone who is there well outside of mass hours

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Along with this, every Sunday 100s of people show up at church in the morning and leave their cars unattended in quiet suburban car parks while the more secular citizens are fast asleep. This along could account for the number of theft from cars, where as adult venues are usually in nightclub areas and, to their patrons relief, don’t have car parks directly associated with them.

Lastly, many churches offer many services for the underprivileged, and while it is painting a large population with a broad generalisation, the desperation of homelessness can drive people to crime. So while there may be incidents at churches there could be other factors in play to explain them.

In summary this article does little but regurgitate the statistics it has been given and make broad generalizations based on them without trying to understand why they have come about. So, at least for the mean time, its a safer bet to head to the pulpit and drop some coin in the collection plate, than head out on the town with a fistful of singles.